Are you an honest or dishonest believer? Are you the real deal or are you faking Christianity?
I live in my new identity that NOTHING can affect. The life I live is CHRIST who lives in me as the old me is dead and buried. As Christ is, so am I in this world. My mindset is not upon the flesh. It is not upon the fleshly mindset of, “What sins can I do today?” that is not the mind of Christ. It is also not upon the other fleshly mindset of, “God, I vow not to do this sin today but will be as obedient as possible to every Law commanded” as that is not the mind of Christ for us.
I live out of the new identity of who I am in Christ Jesus. I do not live with a sin consciousness. I behold myself as righteous and holy and not sinful and disgusting. I view myself as one who "doeth righteousness" (by faith/not law), and not one who needs to focus on making myself more righteous in the sight of God (Law/religion). I do not beat myself up over sin but rather lift myself up rejoicing due to His victory over sin and my death to sin. I am buried and I prefer keeping my old self there. I put off the old man and his deeds by putting on the new man that is renewed not by efforts to behave but rather, "renewed in knowledge after the image of him that created him" (Col. 3:10).
I threw away the Law as I have died to it. The Law cannot even give me a spiritual parking ticket. The Law revealed the old me that failed in every attempt and revealed that I was guilty of the whole Law. The Gospel reveals the new me and I renew my mind in that reality daily. It is this mindset that I see my acceptance along with God’s eternal loving grip of me that never fails. With no condemnation lingering over me has brought out the truest me that religion sought to cover with fig leaves. God loves Dave as Dave and not as some religious puppet. The religious strings of fear and guilt manipulation no longer pull my arms and feet. I have cast out the bondwoman and her son. I live free but what about you?
What does your heart say concerning the gospel you believe? If your heart could speak then would it validate the gospel you claim to believe or would it embarrass you in front of others?
Share your gospel aloud to yourself but listen to your heart. Is your heart validating it or questioning it? Does your heart validate the forgiveness of sins or do you still question whether God has forgiven you?
Imagine your mind and heart sharing the gospel to a total stranger. Would they contradict each other on each point confusing that stranger as what to believe? Would your mind say, “This is truth” but would your heart still be longing for what the truth said it would bring (freedom, abundant life, joy)?
Do not lie to yourself as I used to do myself when asked questions that made me uncomfortable. We often go searching our lives for those "moments" when we felt very close to God to get around the questions I am now asking. We go searching for those times when we felt God's love in a special way. We go searching for those moments where we felt forgiven or even felt joy or assurance. This way one can answer, "Yes, my gospel has produced such liberating feelings and experiences" even though you would not describe your life as liberated. If you are honest then you would realize that such an experience is common with other religions that believe a different gospel than you do. I am talking about an abiding reality and not some yo-yo experience that "all" have experienced. It is important that you be completely honest with yourself, as lying to yourself might preserve your pride but lying never will free you. Truth shall set you free but lying never will. The sooner people become honest the quicker they can be free.
Do not lie to yourself as I used to do myself when asked questions that made me uncomfortable. We often go searching our lives for those "moments" when we felt very close to God to get around the questions I am now asking. We go searching for those times when we felt God's love in a special way. We go searching for those moments where we felt forgiven or even felt joy or assurance. This way one can answer, "Yes, my gospel has produced such liberating feelings and experiences" even though you would not describe your life as liberated. If you are honest then you would realize that such an experience is common with other religions that believe a different gospel than you do. I am talking about an abiding reality and not some yo-yo experience that "all" have experienced. It is important that you be completely honest with yourself, as lying to yourself might preserve your pride but lying never will free you. Truth shall set you free but lying never will. The sooner people become honest the quicker they can be free.
Does your gospel proclaim peace while your heart cries for one drop of water? Does your gospel proclaim forgiveness of sins while your heart only knows guilt? Does your gospel proclaim the love of God while your heart fears His anger and wrath? Does your gospel proclaim reconciliation while your heart is still seeking friendship?
Do you define your life as one consciously aware of the love of God? I will make this easy and will simply ask how would the past two weeks define you? Would your thought life drive those who are depressed into the loving arms of the Father or are you the depressed still looking for the loving arms of the Father?
Are you at rest or are you tirelessly trying to find that rest?
Do you believe or do wonder if you believe? This is a huge problem among religious people. They claim you do nothing to be saved but then worry if they have done the “believing” correctly to be saved.
Are you conscious of assurance or are you still reading articles and books to find assurance? Do you tell others that you are assured but deep down you know that is a lie?
You know being honest about the real you would make your religion all vain if you lacked peace and assurance that you claim your gospel brings. Imagine sharing the gospel and then saying, “I have no lasting assurance of the things I just shared with you. I describe myself as a spiritual yo-yo when it comes to assurance.”
Honest Christians are those who might preach what they were taught but they know deep down that it simply is not working. These are often what religion calls “backsliders” because such people can only handle so much before wandering away for a while. Some honest Christians turned to atheism because they not only realized the contradictory claims of their religion but they realized that none of the things they were taught brought peace and joy.
Honest Christians recognize that something is wrong. They never seem to make the connection that their religion/gospel is behind their misery and some will sadly never let go of it fearing the consequence "their" religion claims will happen.
Many wonder why they feel so relaxed when they walk away from Christianity briefly or permanently. Read the testimonies of former Christians turned atheists as they share the joy of now living life they felt robbed of for years while in Christianity. They describe actually being happy. Do you believe they are deceived claiming happiness or will you consider that maybe you are deceived for not having happiness?
At my former job, the maintenance manager had a joke thumb tacked to his wall that said, “Jesus might love you, but the rest of us think you’re an *******” as he did not have much respect for Christianity. You can lie with your lips but not your heart. What do people think of you? Do they see Jesus the friend of sinners or a person frustrated, angry, and full of criticism?
Are you an actor or the real deal?
I had a man recently email me about how he walked away from Christianity and how he feels better. His wife is a Christian but stated that she enjoys the “new” him that is away from Christianity. He is sharing the better person he had become away from Christianity. He shared how he went out of his way to be nice to his neighbor he previously (while in his Christianity) could not stand to be around but now went over and enjoyed a couple of beers with him. I know religious people are focusing on the word "beers" in that sentence as this is the real critical them reading this blog.
A strange thing it is to demonstrate more of a love of Christ away from Christianity than in it. Many discover this truth but erroneously make the connection that they are happier away from God rather than their religion. They blame God for making them miserable rather than their religion. They fail to see their gospel formula was never real. One man said that if it is a formula then it was never milk.
I said in another blog that atheists are closer to the truth than most Christians are. Why? Because atheists threw out the “god” of religion and are now in a place to accept the God of all grace. Only dishonest Christians will hold on to their religion believing they are the one true religion. Dishonest Christians will not admit, “Hey! Something is not right here. Where is this peace and joy that the world does not experience as they seem happier than me? Where is this abundant life? Why do I struggle so much with believing God and the gospel? Why am I so angry all the time? Why am I so frustrated? Why does God seem so distant from me? I always feel guilty. I feel so sinful. My God seems so displeased.”
Honest Christians never stepped completely over into Dishonest Christianity. Dishonest Christianity are those who simply believe what they experience is the norm. They are content with the mire of bondage while honest Christians want out. In fact, they call bondage freedom, as they never tasted true joy and peace that they claim to experience. I have read articles where they call all the miseries one claims to experience in Christianity as signs of life and for them to rejoice in such things.
If your heart had lips then would it lead people to Christ? Is there a glorious party going on inside of your heart? Do you enjoy the abundant life? Do you really believe that your miseries that religion calls normal would woo the world your way? Was Jesus a miserable man? Do you believe He was miserable and His miserable life wooed people to Him? Would you want your child to feel like you do? Would you want your child to live the Christianity you do? Would you want them to experience their deathbed the way you fear deep down you might experience yours (fear and uncertainty)?
I see so many who get enraged when one claims not to believe in hell in some afterlife. Why are they so angry? I hear some claim that it robs people of a fear that they should have. I however see a people learning about a love that casts out all fear that religion seeks to instill in people. If a literal hell fire torture pit in the afterlife were not true then how would that affect religion that uses hell as a manipulative tool? Did you know that those who scream, “Turn or Burn” tend to be the ones who die a very uneasy death compared to unbelievers? Question, if a forever torture pit in the afterlife did not exist then how would knowing that affect you?
Christianity tends to be those that live worried about what lies at deaths door. How about you? What would you do if you found out that you only had 60 seconds to live? Would you be confessing every possible sin as quick as possible? Would you mentally try to forgive every person that ticked you off? Would you pray again that erroneous sinner’s prayer that religion taught you to pray? Would you try quoting every assurance verse to arouse your heart into assurance? Would you be psycho-analyzing your Christian life (works, sins, and so on) to draw assurance from it or would you be telling God how sorry you are? Would you worry which sort of God would be meeting you beyond deaths door (angry/loving)? You can lie with your lips but what does your heart say? What would a death bed experience reveal about the real you?
I know one person that always talked a big game when it came to her death. She was disease free and spoke confidently of facing death triumphantly. She shared how she would want people to rejoice at her funeral because she was in heaven. Well, death came knocking shortly after her conversation she had with me but her so-called assurance went on vacation. I rarely see people as scared as she got. She was in tears claiming that she did not have complete certainty. Her religion was based on the externals (most are) and it showed. She did a great job lying to me with her lips but death made her heart speak.
Religion believes that their gospel is the only true gospel because they have members who used to smoke, drink, and do drugs but not anymore. Let us be honest, any religious cult can make that claim. Are you only a poster child for religion? Are you all clean outwardly? What would your heart say to us about your inward parts?
If we can see in your heart then what would it reveal about you? Are you full of assurance? Do you have joy unspeakable? Does the love of God rule your heart? Does peace rule your heart? Are you no longer sin conscious? Are you guilt free? Are you free from fear? If not, please examine the gospel you believe.
If you are not free then do not think that you are embracing the true gospel. Do not be the person I once was by thinking it will only get better. Do not think getting rid of that one sin will make it better. Do not think understanding more theology will make it all better. Do not think that a little more clarity on your gospel will make it all come together, as it just might be "your gospel” making you miserable.
The wrong gospel is never the power of God unto salvation as it simply does not work. The gospel speaks directly to the mind while the devil (Law/Religion) blinds/veils the mind and speaks to the flesh. If your gospel is presented as a formula then remember that it is not true milk.
Question any gospel that has "points" that have to be in a specific order. Question any gospel that preaches bad news. Question any gospel that preaches alienation and separation that God removed (see 2nd Corinthians 5:19; Colossians 1:20-21). Question any gospel makes you worry if you did not do something right. Question any gospel that makes you worry if you did not do something enough. Question any gospel that produces anxiety. Question any gospel that makes you sin conscious. Question any gospel that limits what God can do until you do something first. Question any gospel that makes the first Adam more powerful than the second Adam. Question any gospel that uses fear to get you to respond. Question any gospel that will backdoor works into it. Question any gospel that makes you doubt God based on your future works or sins. Question any gospel that makes any law declarations in it. Question any gospel that tells you things you must start doing.
The true gospel will bring out the real you. The real you will stop trying to hide from God every time you believe you screw up. The real you will no longer be thinking He is ticked off with you. The real you is based on God's faith and not yours. We believe His faith concerning us. What God believes about you (not religion) is what the heart rests in.
Stop thinking the real gospel will make you stop sinning or sin less because that alters ones perception of the glorious 'gospel of grace' and perverts it into the 'gospel of conforming' that is no gospel. I wish believers would learn the lesson that God is not answering the prayer, "God, take away this pet sin of mine." How many times have you prayed about that certain sin(s) you struggled with now for a long time that has yet to go away? How many more prayers before you will learn that it will not be answered? The only reason you keep praying for God to take it away is because you think God is worried and upset about it. You think God is irritated with you. You think God has some anger in Him against your faults. You think God still imputes sin because you keep repeating that one sin. You think there is a certain amount of unhappiness in God's heart toward you. You think God's love and forgiveness is conditional. You think God has to be at least a little disappointed with you. You are believing lies!
Those who are worried and fighting against their sins are always those who do not enjoy forgiveness of sins. Fighting sins is not how one enjoys forgiveness of sins. Fighting sins is how one will perpetually question whether God has forgiven them. It will make you aware of your failure that was the purpose of the Law. I rather fight against a sin consciousness than some sin that clearly I am unable to beat. Fighting against those repeated sins only gives strength to such sins. Fighting against sins will make you aware of how weak your flesh truly is and that is no way to live.
Feeling that my sins reveal my shortcomings before God will NEVER allow for 'forgiveness of sins' to be enjoyed. It is "forgiveness of sins" and not "forgiveness of not sinning." It is enjoying sins forgiven and not sins refrained. How can you enjoy forgiveness of sins if you are too busy trying not to sin to enjoy forgiveness of sins?
Forgiveness of sins are enjoyed by those who sin and not the self-righteous. Only religious people will read into what I just said and will say, "So shall we sin to enjoy forgiveness of sins?" Forgiveness of sins is what we enjoy and never some erroneous fixation upon sins to enjoy. I am not enjoying sins committed but sins forgiven. I do not commit sins to purposely enjoy forgiveness of sins and I do not quit sins to enjoy the forgiveness of sins. Forgiveness of sins are enjoyed by those who sin so do not read more into that statement than I gave.
Where sin abounds is to behold the grace that super abounds. Grace will always exceed all sin ever committed. This does not mean that we turn fleshly and think about doing sins to allow grace to demonstrate its beauty. It is for us to not be sin conscious (we have died to sin) and to live in the glorious reality that grace super abounds in all areas of our life always. Remember, grace is greater than our sins but never forget that grace is even greater than us as well.
You do not come up short today. Religion loves to quote Romans 3:23 that tells us that all have sinned and come short of the glory of God that was before Calvary but fails to read what happened as the result of Calvary in verse 24. We were "justified freely by His grace." Freely means, "without a cause/reason." Do not live your life feeling "shorted" because you have all things in Christ Jesus.
Those who are forgiven much are said to love much, and never those who sin less love more. A sin less attitude makes one conscious of failure and Law. I never get out of bed thinking, "How can I sin less today?" because that will lead to an exhausting day made up of failure. I do not dwell on my sins as I have died to it. I do not allow sin to reign as king. There is a reason why we are to have our hearts sprinkled clean from an "evil conscience" (sin conscience; guilty conscience). An evil conscience does not enjoy forgiveness of sins as everything to an evil conscience is impure.
Religion would have you live life with the OT mentality, "Woe is me." Religion would have you live in remorse over your sins of omission and that of commission. Living in remorse does not breed love but rather a sense of distance and alienation from the one who so loved you. Those who struggle to believe they are forgiven tend to be easily angered and appears to be quite often. They tend to be critical of others and even love to argue. It seems that the more one doubts forgiveness the more critical they are of others. Those struggling with forgiveness are easily irritated. They often quote all the verses on forgiveness of sins to arouse some nice brief feelings but that is never the route where one enjoys the forgiveness of sins perpetually.
How do you experience "forgiven much/love much"? By focusing on the very person you are right now while beholding "no condemnation" over a single thing you do or not do. It is you saying, "Wow! What a screw up I am and God loves me and accepts me as I am and not with some demand to clean myself up." Our response should be, "Wow! God has forgiven someone like me!" and not, "How can God forgive someone like me?" The moment we say, "Oh no! I just did that sin again" is when the mind experiences condemnation and feelings that God is angry and hiding His face from us. This is what causes people to question forgiveness rather than enjoy forgiveness because their "god" is, "Clean up your act or else."
I personally do not view myself as a screw up but was using that as an example. I merely view the obvious contradiction of how I see myself through the eyes of the flesh/law and who I truly am in Christ Jesus. Looking at myself through the eyes of the Law is when I see myself as a train wreck but looking at myself through the eyes of Jesus Christ is when I see righteousness and true holiness. I see a person free of blemish and spot. I see one accepted and loved. I see one who is the praise of His glory.
A fleshly mindset will see flaws but a spiritual mindset sees "perfected forever." I do not mix the fleshly mindset with the spiritual mindset that religion attempts to do because my years of experience taught me that religion only knows death rather than life and peace in the Spirit. This is not the progressive sanctification nonsense, "Make your behavior match your position in Christ" that never works. It is mirroring my mind to that true reality I have in Christ.
People often fight against sins because they fear punishment. Why are you in such a heated battle with your sins? Is it because you think someone is angry or might retaliate for your sins? Ask yourself if it is because you fear consequences from God. Religion says that they fight against their sins because they love God and do not want to do things that are not pleasing in His sight. That sounds so good but it is not what honest Christians experience deep down. You are only aware of constant failure to "please" God who is already pleased with you! You will only question the sincerity of your love every time you fail. Live out of the reality that you are well-pleasing 24/7 regardless of what you do or not do and see how that affects your life.
Those who are worried and fighting against their sins are always those who do not enjoy forgiveness of sins. Fighting sins is not how one enjoys forgiveness of sins. Fighting sins is how one will perpetually question whether God has forgiven them. It will make you aware of your failure that was the purpose of the Law. I rather fight against a sin consciousness than some sin that clearly I am unable to beat. Fighting against those repeated sins only gives strength to such sins. Fighting against sins will make you aware of how weak your flesh truly is and that is no way to live.
Feeling that my sins reveal my shortcomings before God will NEVER allow for 'forgiveness of sins' to be enjoyed. It is "forgiveness of sins" and not "forgiveness of not sinning." It is enjoying sins forgiven and not sins refrained. How can you enjoy forgiveness of sins if you are too busy trying not to sin to enjoy forgiveness of sins?
Forgiveness of sins are enjoyed by those who sin and not the self-righteous. Only religious people will read into what I just said and will say, "So shall we sin to enjoy forgiveness of sins?" Forgiveness of sins is what we enjoy and never some erroneous fixation upon sins to enjoy. I am not enjoying sins committed but sins forgiven. I do not commit sins to purposely enjoy forgiveness of sins and I do not quit sins to enjoy the forgiveness of sins. Forgiveness of sins are enjoyed by those who sin so do not read more into that statement than I gave.
Where sin abounds is to behold the grace that super abounds. Grace will always exceed all sin ever committed. This does not mean that we turn fleshly and think about doing sins to allow grace to demonstrate its beauty. It is for us to not be sin conscious (we have died to sin) and to live in the glorious reality that grace super abounds in all areas of our life always. Remember, grace is greater than our sins but never forget that grace is even greater than us as well.
You do not come up short today. Religion loves to quote Romans 3:23 that tells us that all have sinned and come short of the glory of God that was before Calvary but fails to read what happened as the result of Calvary in verse 24. We were "justified freely by His grace." Freely means, "without a cause/reason." Do not live your life feeling "shorted" because you have all things in Christ Jesus.
Those who are forgiven much are said to love much, and never those who sin less love more. A sin less attitude makes one conscious of failure and Law. I never get out of bed thinking, "How can I sin less today?" because that will lead to an exhausting day made up of failure. I do not dwell on my sins as I have died to it. I do not allow sin to reign as king. There is a reason why we are to have our hearts sprinkled clean from an "evil conscience" (sin conscience; guilty conscience). An evil conscience does not enjoy forgiveness of sins as everything to an evil conscience is impure.
Religion would have you live life with the OT mentality, "Woe is me." Religion would have you live in remorse over your sins of omission and that of commission. Living in remorse does not breed love but rather a sense of distance and alienation from the one who so loved you. Those who struggle to believe they are forgiven tend to be easily angered and appears to be quite often. They tend to be critical of others and even love to argue. It seems that the more one doubts forgiveness the more critical they are of others. Those struggling with forgiveness are easily irritated. They often quote all the verses on forgiveness of sins to arouse some nice brief feelings but that is never the route where one enjoys the forgiveness of sins perpetually.
How do you experience "forgiven much/love much"? By focusing on the very person you are right now while beholding "no condemnation" over a single thing you do or not do. It is you saying, "Wow! What a screw up I am and God loves me and accepts me as I am and not with some demand to clean myself up." Our response should be, "Wow! God has forgiven someone like me!" and not, "How can God forgive someone like me?" The moment we say, "Oh no! I just did that sin again" is when the mind experiences condemnation and feelings that God is angry and hiding His face from us. This is what causes people to question forgiveness rather than enjoy forgiveness because their "god" is, "Clean up your act or else."
I personally do not view myself as a screw up but was using that as an example. I merely view the obvious contradiction of how I see myself through the eyes of the flesh/law and who I truly am in Christ Jesus. Looking at myself through the eyes of the Law is when I see myself as a train wreck but looking at myself through the eyes of Jesus Christ is when I see righteousness and true holiness. I see a person free of blemish and spot. I see one accepted and loved. I see one who is the praise of His glory.
A fleshly mindset will see flaws but a spiritual mindset sees "perfected forever." I do not mix the fleshly mindset with the spiritual mindset that religion attempts to do because my years of experience taught me that religion only knows death rather than life and peace in the Spirit. This is not the progressive sanctification nonsense, "Make your behavior match your position in Christ" that never works. It is mirroring my mind to that true reality I have in Christ.
People often fight against sins because they fear punishment. Why are you in such a heated battle with your sins? Is it because you think someone is angry or might retaliate for your sins? Ask yourself if it is because you fear consequences from God. Religion says that they fight against their sins because they love God and do not want to do things that are not pleasing in His sight. That sounds so good but it is not what honest Christians experience deep down. You are only aware of constant failure to "please" God who is already pleased with you! You will only question the sincerity of your love every time you fail. Live out of the reality that you are well-pleasing 24/7 regardless of what you do or not do and see how that affects your life.
The gospel is you ALREADY accepted even with that pet sin. You do not lose the pet sin to be accepted and you do not lose the pet sin to stay accepted. The Law revealed that none is righteous so what will all the inconsistent efforts to do legal righteousness do for the gospel? Also, what will it do for you? Will legal righteousness make you more righteous in the sight of God? Will sin make you less righteous in the sight of God? Will legal righteousness make you more forgiven than you already are? Will it make you more accepted in the Beloved than you already are? Will it make you better in the eyes of God? Will it make God bless you? Did you find your insane efforts made life better for you? Are you happier? Did those insane efforts make God's love and forgiveness seem so incredibly real to you? Get rid of the religion!
The gospel did not come along with magical powers to make you behave righteously. You will find that the sins you committed before believing the gospel are still there after you believe the gospel. All of your attempts to fight those sins away only kept them around all of these years. Give up the battle! I said, "Give up the battle!" and not "Give in to your sins" as there is a difference, since "both" (battle/give in to sin) are a fleshly mindset.
Giving up the battle is knowing that sin is dead and defeated. Giving up the battle is knowing that all of those sins you are conscious of are forgiven and forgotten. Giving up the battle is you knowing that those sins will not and cannot make you any less accepted than you already are. This is how we can get our minds out of the fleshly gutter of sin consciousness. If you are sin conscious then you believe that God is sin conscious too. If sin can cause you to doubt who you are in Christ then you fail the test of faith that is more precious than gold and silver. Never doubt your true identity based on anything you do or feel.
I cannot describe the joy of living my life without worrying about my sins. I am being myself and no longer faking it. I am not wearing the mask of religion anymore. I threw away the fig leaves and now live naked before God without the shame. I do not have to put on a holier than thou performance. I do not have to do the daily bible studies to feel better. I do not have to listen to Christian music all day to try to keep myself in some godly frame of mind with nice feelings to accompany it.
I live out of the new identity of who I am in Christ Jesus. I do not live with a sin consciousness. I behold myself as righteous and holy and not sinful and disgusting. I view myself as one who "doeth righteousness" (by faith/not law), and not one who needs to focus on making myself more righteous in the sight of God (Law/religion). I do not beat myself up over sin but rather lift myself up rejoicing due to His victory over sin and my death to sin. I am buried and I prefer keeping my old self there. I put off the old man and his deeds by putting on the new man that is renewed not by efforts to behave but rather, "renewed in knowledge after the image of him that created him" (Col. 3:10).
I threw away the Law as I have died to it. The Law cannot even give me a spiritual parking ticket. The Law revealed the old me that failed in every attempt and revealed that I was guilty of the whole Law. The Gospel reveals the new me and I renew my mind in that reality daily. It is this mindset that I see my acceptance along with God’s eternal loving grip of me that never fails. With no condemnation lingering over me has brought out the truest me that religion sought to cover with fig leaves. God loves Dave as Dave and not as some religious puppet. The religious strings of fear and guilt manipulation no longer pull my arms and feet. I have cast out the bondwoman and her son. I live free but what about you?
I can say a lot more on this subject but I simply want you to be honest with yourself. Does your gospel really work? Maybe you still need a few more years struggling away at your sins. Maybe you need a few more years of trying to find assurance. Maybe you need a few more years believing your religion holds the one true gospel. Maybe you need a few more years of being unhappy and critical of others. Maybe a few more years of anything else going on in your life since you embraced religion to finally cause you to stop and question it all.
I will be very blunt and use a word I do not normally use but I want you to think about it carefully. If the gospel you hear/believe makes you feel like crap then it probably is crap. Would it really kill you to believe that maybe God is too good to be true? Would it kill you to believe that God accepts you as you are? Would it kill you to be happy and content for once? Would it kill you to be able to love your neighbor and accept him/her with all of their faults? Would it kill you to have a God love you with all the faults and blemishes "you" see in your life? Would it kill you to question your gospel/religion???